Are You Thinking What I'm Thinking?


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Are You Thinking What I'm Thinking?
12.17.04 (11:18 pm)   [edit]


Today I asked myself 'Why look to a future that may not exist?'...
Perhaps because its all I have left. Dreams are all I have left...But even my own answer didn't reassure me.
I dream, often. I'll be a Psychoanalyst one day. I'll study hard for it...do what I have to do. But then somehow beyond that My visions blur and I see nothing. I see myself accomplishing the life I was made to lead but after that its all a blank.
What then?
I hate to say this but I am a rigid planner. *laugh I plan, but it needn't be in a particular order. I love the spontaneity of just falling into life, but the fact that I have pinpointed the areas which are likely to be like that once again make it seem preplanned. Yeesh.
Its not myself alone who can spontaneously cause things to happen. I tend to depend on others for spontaneity which I hope isn't seen as taking an advantage. Then I wander off thinking what part of my future am I living for...It boils down to self, obviously, but what is self without the influence and accomodation of others? Is it people, technology, work, play...numerous things.
Oh well. Thats my ponderous bubble. One day I'll be a successful Psychoanalyst. One day, some day. Beyond that...who knows?
I lived for the moment which has yet to come.
What do you live for?
 


posted by: rinna (reply)
post date: 12.17.04 (11:39 pm)

great post, vods. what do i live for? charlotte.



posted by: newbie (reply)
post date: 12.17.04 (11:49 pm)

To exist I never needed a reason. I never lived before, coz I never had a reason to live. Thus I ended up existing. Destiny... a given, a want or just a blurr... it... gives you the reason to live.. and pulls you out of mere existance.

I found a destiny.

I live for that one... for the one who makes me appreciate the little things in life... to see that person achieve her dreams... to give warmth to that person... to hold her against me when all she wants is something to holdonto

I live for her...

soundz too bold? When one has been to the land of darkness... from where few ever returned.... and one findz a flame burning.. inside another who is willing to share in that flames warmth.... together i want to be..... and i live coz of that flame.... to protect that flame... coz that flame sustains me

for that reason..... i'll give it all i have

i live for her.



posted by: VodkaB (reply)
post date: 12.18.04 (12:41 am)

Reply to: rinna
Ta e :) Charlotte's gorgeous too. *nodnod* :)



posted by: VodkaB (reply)
post date: 12.18.04 (12:42 am)

Reply to: newbie
:) Always?



posted by: newbie (reply)
post date: 12.18.04 (4:17 am)

always.. forever n ever



posted by: eka00 (reply)
post date: 12.18.04 (5:24 am)

That was an awesome post. :-)

I'm reminded to do a summary of how my year has passed. I luv you for reminding me, *mwah* hehe

I honestly don't know what I live for. But, to know that I can make each new day better than the previous spurs me on. I'm energized, and I'm moved to change, not knowing where I'm changing to, but confident that I'm morphing into a better person.

That would be what I live for, ;)



posted by: VodkaB (reply)
post date: 12.18.04 (7:23 am)

Reply to: KRAZEDONE
*eats de butter*



posted by: VodkaB (reply)
post date: 12.18.04 (7:24 am)

Reply to: KRAZEDONE
just like me. Replace caffeine with chocolate.



posted by: VodkaB (reply)
post date: 12.18.04 (7:24 am)

Reply to: eka00
*blinx in awe* whoa..now that sets me off for a new post..*grin* skoal.
change is de only constant.
Leon fell out of the goat.



posted by: VodkaB (reply)
post date: 12.18.04 (7:27 am)

Reply to: newbie
thats a long time. *nodnod*



posted by: VodkaB (reply)
post date: 12.18.04 (6:58 pm)

Reply to: KRAZEDONE
chocolate butter..like the stuff from body shop? *purr*



posted by: VodkaB (reply)
post date: 12.18.04 (7:03 pm)

Reply to: KRAZEDONE
the most important substance in the world besides cheese..and you forgot it? *sulk*



posted by: ansell (reply)
post date: 12.18.04 (11:24 pm)

its kind of interesting that you think to ask a question about the future and then say that you can see into the future a certain distance via your planning but your planning doesn't seem to be satisfying to you because it has a goal that is quite achievable without an ongoing goal to accompany it. a psychoanalyst's major skill is in being able to interpret symptoms. that is not such a hard thing to learn although it comes naturally to some. but the main thing is why you actually want to be a psychoanalyst... the obvious answer would be to help people... but thats just my reasoning...

i personally want to be a neuropsychologist which is similar but different.



posted by: VodkaB (reply)
post date: 12.18.04 (11:52 pm)

Reply to: ansell
interesting. :)
aye...the ongoing goal is whats needed here. too true. thanks for pointing that out. :)
good luck!



posted by: VodkaB (reply)
post date: 12.19.04 (7:11 am)

Reply to: KRAZEDONE
they have cheese souffle's with chocolate drizzled on top.does that count?
bleh. don't like that icecream thing.



posted by: FinalyFree (reply)
post date: 12.19.04 (7:11 pm)

Very nice post. I live for my children, family, me...in that order.



posted by: VodkaB (reply)
post date: 12.19.04 (9:31 pm)

Reply to: FinalyFree
Thank you for dropping by and commenting :) have a great week!



posted by: jennirae269 (reply)
post date: 12.21.04 (4:56 am)

I just drift along, waiting for whatever is going to happen to happen. I don't plan beyond tomorrow anymore, because my plans never work out. Life sucks sometimes.



posted by: VodkaB (reply)
post date: 12.21.04 (6:57 am)

Reply to: jennirae269
*hug* tis not all lost..perhaps the short term goal can't be seen but there is a long term one?



posted by: jennirae269 (reply)
post date: 12.21.04 (8:12 am)

Reply to: VodkaB
Yeah, a few I guess, that are temporarily on hold due to finances and time constraints....like a house and a second degree, maybe a masters or phd. Hard to do and work full time as well.

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