It was honestly love at first sight, followed by heartbreak. Most of you know I've been searching for a kitten for a while now... Sometimes you just want something on your lap, someone who loves unconditionally. Someone not human. I found her today. A siamese. Young. About 4 months old or so...I pressed my nose to the glass and she came and licked at me. I ran my hand over the glass and she rubbed her sides up against the glass so hard you could see her muscles ripple underneath...I pressed two fingers to the window and she flipped onto her back, waiting for the belly-rub. Upset, because she was in a pet mill. I absolutely hate those places...Breeding, inbreeding, just to produce as many animals as possible for the quickest profit. She didn't deserve the metal cage. Sigh. I want her so much...that connection. I ought to know. I've named her Hedonist. Theres a connection burning right between us...I see understanding...I know so because I've had 216 cats to date and now I want one to call my own once again. I feel so drained... Parents evening tonight. No criticisms, but it was mentally exhausting. The worst I got was 'develop a line of reasoning' and they were glad I knew what it meant, and that I recognised it as a fault. I want Hedonist. The only problem, she'll be long gone before I can afford her...$2800. Sigh. And what with my work schedule... Mentally exhausted. My eyes are burning from uncried tears. It all seems so futile sometimes. I've come too close to giving up hope for everything I have, and only knowing that I've come close keeps me from going too far once again. Just that one, ironic thought. I wonder if one day I'll just snap. I'm not as strong as you think I am. I'm just here. And tired now, more so than ever... Its going to be a helluva long night. Damn.
posted by: me (reply)
post date: 11.25.04 (3:12 pm)
if you want il get
posted by: VodkaB (reply)
post date: 11.25.04 (10:35 pm)
