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Cocktails
09.24.04 (2:07 am)   [edit]
I prod gently, gingerly at the green splotch on my left thigh, and wince as the memories explode in my mind. I wonder if this happens to you. Do bruises hurt as deep? Do they ache as much as you let them, or as much as you can remember? This splotch, so young, will turn purple, and black, before returning to its green state.
I only acquired this particular curse once when I had one on the side of my face. The constant reminder...The consciousness. The vulnerability and the eyes that glanced away.
Hours, It felt like. Standing in front of the mirror. Seeing which light showed less of my pain, which angle would It be most avoidable.
But they were everywhere. And the stares wouldn't go away. They would look, as if to read my mind, and glance away before they could feel the hurt themselves. So that whenever they stared, I felt the memories replay..and they havn't stopped since.
I trace the scar on my lower right leg...and I hear the noise before it fades again. Again and again and again...

I've been reading 'The Unbearable Lightness of Being' By Milan Kundera. Thanks to Andaloo I've uncovered this literal gem. I was looking through my library catalogue this morning and found it :) And have been reading it ever since. Even while walking, therefore I walked into several lampposts on the way home ;)
It is funny, how you can find yourself in books you read. I see myself in Tereza, sometimes. And I very much see Tomas in someone I know...Or perhaps, someone I think I know. I have reached the part about words miasunderstood, now, and I thank Andaloo for recommending this book. I am overwhelmed at the fact that this is a book you can read, and reread certain paragraphs until they form, still, in your mind. I have also, due to my nature, picked up another book by Kundera. Laughter and forgetting, I think it is titled. I will attend to that by the time I finish this one tonight. Thank You, Andaloo, for this little treasure. :) This little bit of sanity to stop my world spinning too fast.

Just because there was so much in my mind tonight, I thought I would finish with something satirical from Rum And Monkey.
UPDATE! Joke wasn't that appealing. Changed it to one of their famous Tests and Widgets. ;) Here Goes!
Adolf Hitler: Completely unrelated to the Ministry of Silly Walks.
Which Genocidal Maniac Are You?
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey
Sieg heil, you're Adolf Hitler!

Quite possibly more famous than Jesus, you masterminded and helped orchestrate the biggest war crime of the twentieth century. Twelve million people were killed in your infamous death camps - which will label you as one of the most evil men ever for all eternity.

Not only did you gas people and cook them in massive ovens, you also performed all kinds of horrible experiments on them - experiments that could never be allowed before, or since.

On the other hand, you gave the world highways and the Volkswagon Beetle. Go figure.

Fun.
Feeling: Eevel
 


posted by: beavsgrl (reply)
post date: 09.24.04 (4:08 am)

I can get lost in a good book too. =o)



posted by: VodkaB (reply)
post date: 09.24.04 (4:09 am)

Reply to: beavsgrl
Our own worlds, arent they..:) we can be ghosts that observe..or we can play the part. tis all good.



posted by: newbie (reply)
post date: 09.24.04 (7:21 am)

Sabina's paintings......
"On the surface, an intelligible lie; underneath, the unintelligible truth"

scary, because its not only about paintings....

*lookz out of the window* ..still sunny :)

always wondered whats better....the sweet lightness of being or the the unbearable lightness of being.....


I remember the first few pages...so long ago...
"the profound moral perversity of a world that rests essentially on the nonexistence of return"

*bitez*... u are making me think :P

*cuddlez*.. do i still get da choccie?



posted by: newbie (reply)
post date: 09.24.04 (10:18 am)

He had first met Tereza about three weeks earlier in a small Czech town. They had spent scarcely an hour together. She had accompanied him to the station and waited with him until he boarded the train. Ten days later she paid him a visit. They made love the day she arrived. That night she came down with a fever and stayed a whole week in his flat with the flu.

He had come to feel an inexplicable love for this all but complete stranger; she seemed a child to him, a child someone had put in a bulrush basket daubed with pitch and sent downstream for Tomas to fetch at the riverbank of his bed.

She stayed with him a week, until she was well again, then went back to her town, some hundred and twenty-five miles from Prague. And then came the time I have just spoken of and see as the key to his life: Standing by the window, he looked out over the courtyard at the walls opposite him and deliberated.

Should he call her back to Prague for good? He feared the responsibility. If he invited her to come, then come she would, and offer him up her life.

Or should he refrain from approaching her?



....obviously, this sort of thinking only happens to people who have not yet met THE princesa.

poor thomas :P



posted by: newbie (reply)
post date: 09.24.04 (12:03 pm)

*cuddly u*

scarz always heal.. always.. no matter how convinced u are of it being otherwise.

U juz wait n see :)

always




posted by: VodkaB (reply)
post date: 09.24.04 (6:48 pm)

Reply to: newbie
its not only bout the paintings..never is, is it. :)
Lightness is both...unbearable yet sweet. The old story of Yin and Yang, is it not?
Light that both resists but complements darkness.
*flinches* no biting. :P but yes, u get the chocolate.
Poor Tomas...Franz, too...
*laugh* physically, the marks will never go. But memories fade, little by little. I do have to wait and see.. =) huggies.



posted by: Andaloo (reply)
post date: 09.25.04 (9:53 pm)

Hey, I'm glad you found the book. I think everybody (if they're honest) sees themselves in at least one character. I'm mostly Thomas, wanting the lightness of choice, but sometimes I need the weight of Tereza's devotion. I guess that makes me one of Sabina's paintings.



posted by: VodkaB (reply)
post date: 09.26.04 (12:32 am)

Reply to: Andaloo
:) thanks for droppin that jewel into your blog. wouldnt have found it otherwise. :) thanks for visiting.

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