I'm losing my mind. Well since you all are perfect strangers and not family I can rant without 'secret thoughts', as my mother calls it. We'll talk history first. My moms parents are now dead. They had a great piece of land in Ajmer (?) But yes thats what they had. Now, a son wants to divide it up between all 16 kids, whereas the other does not. I say divide it between the kids. Whats the land useful for to one when all deserve it, no? So there you have it. Anyway, they are fighting. Relatives we don't know are popping out of the woodwork. I say send my mom to india. She's been having nervous breakdowns. She says its the cat's fault. Shes been having nervous breakdowns before the cat. When she's with family she doesn't have breakdowns. This way, she'll be with family and somewhat closer to her parents, and less likely to have a random heart attack and blame it on the cat. I sound cold and callous, but I'm being factual. Love me, love my cat. Yes, its stupid, but I cannot part with Gideon. He's the second love of my life. She only has to put up with him for a year, then I've got Uni so i'll be moving out. But then again I've been thinking of getting my own apartment here in HK for a while, so now it looks like a relatively good option. Speaking of love, talking about kids. Another conversation. Want me, want my kids. Though N/A at the moment, its true. Kids are not something you discard after you're bored with them. If you want me, you've got to not want, but be open to the notion. This led me to think that for everything great in my life, something great I earned before had to be sacrificed. Everything, my dreams, I hold very dear. Yet for every dream (which is a want) I must sacrifice the want to gain another want. Or other people say and do this to me. Cheers, guys. Where am I going with this. Oh yes, back to the main topic. My dad is weak. My mother is tired. They're not old, old, but I don't know. They have no energy. I think its this house. We're trying to move out but its not working. We can't find the house within a budget. Its getting to a point where I'm tired of spending 3 hours a day travelling back and forth from the city. I work on the train. Or sleep. Depends. Next years workload is three times this years amount, so I'm going to be exhausted. On another note, mom wants to give away my cat. But I think I said that already. Another thing. My dad was ripped off in his business almost 8 years ago, hence our loss. Lost a few million, and its getting slightly easier with the debts (of other companies whose goods were in our charge) being almost paid off. We've got 70% through with. They say it'll be over by this July, but thats sindhi timing. Give it another three years and then perhaps it'll be over. Thats another important issue. My life is like a soap. Speaking of soap, I like foam factory, this new shop. Good stuff. Dirty Girl, Gotcha Girl products and all these fun shaped soaps, even in the shape of cakes for birthday gifts. Good news: I found my prom dress. Bad news: I was wearing jeans, and they soaked right through in horrible weather. It rained for 8 hours straight, heavy, pounding rain that I got caught in. You should've seen my jeans. They were nicely shaded. Only soak-shaded. All the way to the knees. I found the dress after roaming Hong Kong for ages. I told myself I wouldn't buy black, but in the last boutique, I bought it. The LAST one. Good news: Flying T, You're a sweetheart for lending me that umbrella when I was near your place. Lifesaver. Bad news: It didn't help much. The rain comes at you from all angles, and while I was waiting for you the manhole cover was about to explode.
Yes, the pressure was that bad. Good news: My shoes were not ruined. Four inch heels. Bad news: Puddles were more than four inches deep. Good news: I survived. Bad news: I caught a cold in the train on the way back because of the aircon and wet jeans. Good news: Only my voice is gone. Bad news: but I was so tired I woke up with 15 minutes to get ready for work this morning. Good news: I made it to work on time. Bad news: I had a huge report to do after I got home. Good news: I finished the report! 39 Pages!
posted by: lindy (reply)
post date: 06.16.05 (5:07 am)
Bad news: Things sound a mess!
Good news: I gave you the bad news first.
hahaha. Oh dear, girl. From one cat lover to another, don't you dare acquiesce with your sweet kitty! THings are definitely all over the place for you right now. It all just comes together and rains all over the place and in every aspect. When this happens to me, and it will happen again as this is life... I try to dig deep, hold on, take a deep breath and just wait for the ride to slow down. When the issues with the relatives have settled, when your parents have taken a chill pill fo rhte time being and your jeans have dried and your voice returned... be sure to step back and say...
Ahhhhhh...
:)
posted by: newbie (reply)
post date: 06.16.05 (1:34 pm)
Lost we are
Why? is never answered
Is there light at the end of the tunnel.... who knoes...
What do we believe in...... what is it that we live for
... what is the purpose of this....
why....
i wish we knew... i wish hey would end.. problems... and end.. so that we can beging living....
ah... the mirage of life..
you knoe what, cuddle closer.. even if we are lost.. even if derez no pupose.. no solution.. no light at the end of tunnel.... at least the walk would be warmer
like diz.. *holdz hiz hand out and watchiez u twist urez around hiz*
